Seductive Pablo
by Norberta772
Summary: Connor and Risa have an unlikely encounter with Pablo, a mysterious tuxedoed man obsessed with his hair. Find out Risa's reaction when her relationship with her beloved Connor is threatened. (Takes place between Unwind and UnWholly)


**Author's Note: Hello, it's Norberta772 and connorxrisa897 again, bringing you yet another odd story created out of boredom and awesomeness. We advise that, before you read this story, you read our last one, ****_Lamps, Milk, Starkey, and Cam _****in order to understand the character of Pablo. (Though it's not strictly necessary. (Also, in this story, our other story ****_The Smart Guards of Happy Jack_**** never happened…)) We apologize for thoroughly abusing the word "seductive," and thank our friend, E***y, and her brother, A****w for helping us surpass writer's block in sledgehammer related pick-up lines. **

**DFTBA!**

**Disclaimer: We don't own ****_Unwind,_**** though we wish we did.**

Pablo's POV

I am driving down the dusty Arizona road, jamming out to the local salsa station. As I drive, I work my favorite manly hair gel into my mustache, twirling it into its distinctly fabulous swirly shape. After I finish with my mustache, I move on to my hair, making sure that it looks equally as amazing. I'm checking myself out in my souped-up car mirror when, out of nowhere, I see a stray ice cream truck barreling towards me. I barely have time to scream, "MI PELO!" before it hits my gorgeous purple convertible head-on.

After my car stops spinning, I get out. A teenage boy awkwardly climbs out of the truck. He goes around to the passenger side and pulls a teenage girl out. He sets her on the side of the road and gets a wheelchair out of the back of the truck. After helping her into it, he heads over to me. He looks angry.

"WHY WERE YOU DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD?!" he screams.

"Me? I was fixing my hair, jerk! You were the one― hey! You're really hot!" I reply. Now that I look at him closely, he is kind of a stud-muffin. There are some scars on his face, but they make him look all rugged. Though at this moment, he's looking at me like my head's on fire.

"Um, thanks? But seriously, you've wrecked our grocery van! That's the only thing we have to transport our food!"

"What kind of food?" I ask, out of pure curiosity.

"Uh… just some milk… and some Spam, curse you, Hayden… and some grapes, I guess. Is that all?" he calls to the girl. She looks at me threateningly, but nods to the boy.

"Grapes? I love grapes! I'd love to get some of _your _grapes." I wink seductively at him.

"Ummm…" The boy looks uncertain.

"What kind of grapes?" I try to make him feel less awkward.

"Purple ones?"

"Purple's my favorite color!" I say excitedly. "We're perfect for each other!"

"Ummm… I have a girlfriend…" he looks over at the girl in the wheelchair.

"She doesn't have to know anything," I murmur. "How about you show me the inside of that ice cream truck?"

At that moment, Wheelchair Girl rolls up.

"I heard everything you said. What's wrong with you?! Leave my boyfriend alone, you creeper!"

"You're really the girlfriend? I would have thought that he would have better taste. Why would he want _you_ when he could have _all this_?" I demand seductively.

"Connor? Baby? Please go get my sledgehammer," she says, smiling sweetly. He's off running to the ice cream truck before I can use another pick-up line.

The boy, I suppose his name is Connor, returns, carrying, indeed, a rather massive sledgehammer. He hands it to the girl, who slings it across her body and rolls rapidly down the street towards me, angrily screaming. In a moment, I have no choice but to run away as quickly as my legs can carry me. I barely even worry about mussing my fabulous mustache for fear for my life. She finally overtakes me, whacking my exposed bicep (my hair-gelling arm!) with her weapon. In order to escape, I am forced to climb a cactus conveniently located on the side of the road. Looking up at me, she gives me one last death glare, then rolls away to be with her hot boyfriend.

Connor's POV (Back at the Graveyard…)

Risa and I are standing outside the disguised grocery van/ ice cream truck, still wondering what exactly happened this afternoon with the creepy guy in the tux. Finally, I speak.

"Nice job out there with the sledgehammer," I tell Risa.

"Well, I've certainly had some experience. Thanks!" she replies.

"No, seriously, Risa. You looked so beautiful today chasing that guy with your sledgehammer. I'm so lucky that you're my girlfriend."

"Thank you, Connor. That's really sweet of you."

"Hey…" I begin. "Want to see the inside of my jet? It's very… comfortable," I say seductively, throwing her a wink.

"All right," she says (seductively!), raising her eyebrows.

Epiclogue Connor's POV

"That was fun."

**THE END**


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